Why should celebrities be the only ones to enjoy the pleasures of yachting, private beaches and personal chefs? Here's how you can gatecrash the party
Who exactly do rock stars they think they are? Just because they're rich and pretty and everyone loves them, they reckon they're above budget airlines, package deals, jumbo Toblerone offers at WH Smith and caravans. And wherever it is they go for their holidays, there is one strict rule they all adhere to: dreary normals like us should be kept well away. The sight of our uneven tans, wobbly flesh and reasonably priced sunglasses would only distract them from their morning yoga routines and plummet them into vacation-ruining misery. But why should they be the only ones to enjoy the pleasures of yachting, private beaches and personal chefs? Here's how you can gatecrash the party and holiday (a bit) like a rock star.
Cruise the Adriatic like Beyonc� and Jay-Z
The highest earning couple in showbiz are so rich that it won't be long before they're holidaying in space or travelling to Renaissance-era Florence in a time machine they've had built by Louis Vuitton. But for now they're content with a tour of the Adriatic Sea, where they went last year, visiting Dubrovnik, Cavtat and Lokrum island.
The pair travelled on the 47.8-metre Va Bene yacht, which costs about �119,000 per week and has six bedrooms, a sun deck, satellite TV and two jet skis on board. Plus full tea-making facilities.
How to do it: Of all the stratospherically expensive celeb holidays in this list, yachting is probably the one that is easiest to replicate. You may have to forgo gold taps and Cristal champagne breakfasts but you can still cruise the turquoise waters of the Adriatic in style. At the luxe end of the market, Black Tomato (020-7426 9888, blacktomato.co.uk) can arrange a week's crewed trip on board a 66ft sailing boat - all teak decks and pristine white upholstery for you to lounge on ? from �1,999pp based on eight people sharing. Sailing from Dubrovnik, you dock at islands such as Lopud, Ston and Kor?ula, where you disembark for dinner ? or stay on board for a barbecue of freshly caught fish. Price includes flights. If you're under 35, on a budget and in the mood to party ? and save money ? then try Sail Croatia (0845 257 8289, sail-croatia.com) which offers a week's holiday for �649pp including breakfast and lunch and en suite accommodtion on board a motor cruiser that sleeps 30-40.
Go clubbing in Barbados like Rihanna and Cheryl Cole
This is how it works: when you hit the really big time and get to be a judge on a US network TV show, other famous people just ring you up and invite you to meet their mum. Since the US X Factor hired her, Cheryl and Rihanna are said to have become best mates. The American singer is rumoured to be planning a "girly trip" with Cheryl to her homeland of Barbados. There, the two will eat at RiRi's favourite restaurant, the Tides tidesbarbados.com) in Holetown, St James, then hit the clubs on dead-cool First Street. It's all moving so fast.
How to do it:
We can't promise you Rhianna's mum, but if you want to hang with the locals in Barbados, you need to avoid the glitz and golf clubs of the touristy west coast and instead head east. There you can hole up at Sea-U Guest House in Bathsheba (+1 246 433 9450, seaubarbados.com) where doubles cost from $109 and come with whitewashed walls, mosquito nets and ceiling fans, and you can hang out in local rum shacks. Or you can upgrade slightly and have a meal in Aqua Restaurant & Lounge (+1 246 420-2995, aquabarbados.com, mains from �38), a favourite among long limbed, tanned surfer dudes ? who are the local celebs in these parts.
Take a private pooch jet like Mariah
For most people, taking the dog on holiday with you means listening to it whine in the boot of your estate for three hours on the way to the coast, hoping it doesn't wee on the blanket. Mariah Carey's Jack Russell, Jack, doesn't have a blanket (well, he might, but it's probably a magic blanket made out of silk). He flies with Mariah wherever she goes. She used to buy him his own first class seat until he got too big. Now he flies by private jet ("Jack lives on a private jet," she has claimed) or by chauffeur-driven Mercedes ? which he sometimes takes the full 2,500 miles between her homes in New York and LA.
How to do it
Britain is a nation of dog-lovers and there is a whole sub-genre of pet travel to cater for them. Websites such as dogfriendlybritain.co.uk and k9directory.co.uk may not list private jets but they do feature a long list of hotels, pubs, restaurants, beaches that welcome dogs. Mariah wouldn't approve. If you want to leave your dog behind but can't bear the thought of kennels, check him into the Canine Country Club (01288 331216, caninecountryclub.co.uk) in Bude, Cornwall where "guests" stay in luxury suites with underfloor heating and garden rooms. It charges from �24 per day for the clubhouse suite to �36 for the executive suite (for the busy business dog, presumbly), leaving you free to pursue whatever diva-ish holiday you desire.
Party on an iPad Yacht like P Diddy
P Diddy is the celebrity's celebrity: always pushing the boundaries of wanton extravagance. That's why, for him, a normal yacht that's operated by human beings, ropes and engines is mundane and depressing. He now takes his annual trip to St Barts on the $690,000-a-week super-yacht Solemates ? which is controlled entirely by iPad (not the steering, though ? there's a crew for that). The captain hands out one of the Apple tablets to every passenger as they board the ship. They can use it to control the shipboard entertainment, climate control, lights and even the blinds in the cabin. Luxurious, yes, but what happens if one passenger uses their iPad to close the blinds while Diddy's trying to use his to shut them? Hip-hop wars have started over less.
How to do it:
Option A: Make friends with Diddy. Option 2: Pretend you're Diddy, by using your iPhone to check in to your flight on a South West Airlines route to Los Angeles (its app let's you do that, and track fares, and flight statuses etc). Once there, aim for the Malibu Beach Inn (from $258 a night), where the in-house Hotel Evolution app lets you dish out orders to your servants (room service), book rental cars, and send for a maid to plumb up your pillows ... all from the palm of your hand. For extra extravagance, do all of the above while on the loo.
Keep it real in Crete like Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga doing a fortnight in Crete? What next? Carla Bruni youth-hostelling in south Wales? It might have an improbably normal ring to it but last October, Gaga really did hit the Greek island with then-boyfriend Luc Carl for two weeks of sunshine and canoodling.
She didn't even dress up as a Hoover or drink blood or anything while she was there. She just hung out by the pool and read, wearing a perfectly straightforward bikini. Mind you, she did arrive by private jet and stay at Elounda Bay Palace (eloundabay.gr), one of the best hotels on the Mediterranean.
How to do it
It's slightly disappointing to hear that Lady Gaga went for such a conventional holiday and didn't spend a romantic week at Berlin's wacky Propeller Island Hotel (propeller-island.com) where a coffin bed is just one of the bonkers sleeping options. The Elounda Bay Palace is expensive and, frankly, a bit anodyne. An affordable, characterful alternative are the Elounda Island Villas, simple apartments on a tiny island just off Elounda. This means you escape the crowds of this stretch of coast, which is bursting with resorts, and instead have your own islet where the only other buildings are three ruined windmills and a taverna ? a good spot for watching the fishing boats chug by as you tuck into courgette cakes and tzatziki. The apartments are basic but there's fantastic swimming on the doorstep and the views are gorgeous. Elounda Island Villas cost from ?70 a night (i-escape.com).
Get your favourite food flown over like Kanye West
It's not uncommon for British tourists to take a few proper tea bags and maybe a pot of Marmite abroad with them. But what about if you crave something more elaborate when you're away? If you're Kanye West you get it flown over from the farthest reaches of the globe. In 2007, the rapper ordered a curry from the British Raj restaurant in Rogerstone near Newport. The head chef was ferried along with the curry to Heathrow by helicopter, then on to New York at a cost of �2,000. At that price, West could surely have expected some complimentary poppadoms and chutneys.
How to do it:
Virgin won't fly your curry half way round the world (though they may offer one as part of the on board meal service) but their Rock Star concierge service, run by none other tham James "Tappy" Wright, Jimi Hendrix's tour manager, is aimed at releasing your inner diva. You can make outlandish (but legal) requests, as Observer columnist Eva Wiseman did recently on a trip to Vegas, demanding an all-white meal, Penguin biscuits in her transfer car, an Elvis impersonator to serenade her and a mini pig to pet ? on a trip to Vegas ? and they promise to at least try to oblige. Eva got all her wishes grantred, except for the pig. They did provide a puppy instead.
Virgin Holidays (0844 557 3859, virginholidays.co.uk) offers three nights in Las Vegas, including scheduled flights, with Virgin Atlantic from London Gatwick or Manchester, accommodation at the Luxor, on a room-only basis with transfers included starts from �799pp, based on two sharing a standard room and departure on 12 September 2011. Rock star concierge: price on request.
Yoga break like Sting
Not many rock'n'roll marriages last as long as Sting and Trudie Styler's. Their secret? Loads of money. Well, that and yoga. There is barely an A-list holiday destination in the world where Sting hasn't been papped performing an impromptu downward dog. But one of the pair's favourite places is the ultra-luxurious La Residencia hotel (hotel-laresidencia.com) on the dead-zen island of Mallorca. There, they practise dawn yoga every day in the hotel's lush and tranquil grounds. Then they tour the coast on a boat powered by their own sense of self-satisfaction (last bit not true).
How to do it
La Residencia, an ivy-clad manor house hotel set among lemon groves on the edge of celebrity's favourite Mallorca village, Dei�, is available to anyone with a spare couple of grand. Elegant Resorts (01244 897516, elegantresorts.co.uk) has seven nights' B&B for �1,910pp, based on two sharing a classic double room and including flights from London City Airport with British Airways and transfers (based on 19 June departure). Or you could save your money and avoid bumping into one of the world's smuggest celebrity couples and instead check into La Serrania, a beautiful retreat with pool near Pollenca. Spa in Spain (+34 689 073 451, spa-in-spain.com) has a week-long package this autumn from ?695pp in a shared room or ?795 in a single room, including daily hatha yoga sessions, all meals and accommodation but excluding flights.
Have a beach party in the Hamptons like Chris Martin
Yes, the Coldplay singer can occasionally lighten up, wash the earnest messages from his hands and relax with friends in the perennial holiday destination for east-coast rich people, the Hamptons. Chris and wife Gwyneth Paltrow own a $5.4m holiday home in the area. It almost goes without saying that Jay-Z and Beyonc� joined them for last year's beach party. That's the way things roll in the Hamptons.
How to do it:
Easy. Take the $53 Hamptons Jitney from Midtown Manhattan, aggressively scattering your bags across four seats, leaving you free to pretend it's your own private compartment. Stroll to your exclusive seaside room with an exclusive "private bath" at the Sunrise Guest House (+1 631 668 7286, sunrisebnb.com, doubles from �120 a night), before heading out for a lavish $36 seafood platter (well, half a pound of steamed two-claw with baked potato and coleslaw) at the Duryea Lobster Deck (+1 631 668 2410duryealobsters.com).
Take a summer house in the French Riviera like Bono
Holidays are supposed to be a two week-break from the bozos you work with. Not for the Bono and the Edge who, when they're not playing with U2, spend summers living next door to each other in the village of Eze-sur-Mer on the French Riviera. Tina Turner and Roger Moore are the neighbours and Brad Pitt and Robert De Niro are among recent visitors to the house. The rockers bought a villa just after they started making serious money in the 80s and divided it down the middle, with their respective families taking a wing each. More recently, they built a second villa on the grounds, which the Edge moved into. You know, to avoid bickering over the shared toaster and toilets. Isn't it sweet?
How to do it: Holidaylettings.co.uk, gawd bless em, have two very sweet properties in Eze-sur-Mer, both with promising statistics. One is for a party (from �,1387 to �2,647 per week), can cope with up to 10 guests, and has "panoramic sea views". The other is for a small family of up to four (from �442 to �1,761 per week), and comes with "180-degree sea views, and views of the mountain and medieval village". Combine the views, and you should have the majority of the village covered, ensuring you'll catch a glimpse of Bono and chums at some point, if you're patient, and obbsessed enough. Also ideal for paparazzi and assassins.
Drive to Marrakech like Keith Richards
Most people's memories of illicit lust on the continent surround a stolen fumble in a badly assembled tent. But the Rolling Stones did it better. In February 1967, Keith Richards, band mate Brian Jones and Jones' girlfriend Anita Pallenberg headed for Marrakech in search of spiritual enlightenment or, to put it another way, loads of drugs. They decided to drive in Richards's Bentley (specially fitted with a secret compartment for the concealment of narcotics). But Jones was taken seriously ill in Toulouse and admitted to hospital. Rather than wait around for him to get better, Richards and Pallenberg kept on driving, later getting off with each other on the back seat and eventually falling in love. "I was rescuing, not stealing her," Richards later claimed.
How to do it
This trip is easily done ? even if travelling in a Vauxhall Corsa rather takes the glamorous sheen off it, as Chris Scott, author of Morocco Overland (published by Trailblazer Guides, morocco-overland.com) explains: "It's well over a thousand miles from the Channel ports to Algeciras in southern Spain, from where ferries leave hourly for the hour-long crossing to Morocco's new Tangiers Med port. You can drive all the way: the Portsmouth?Le Havre overnight ferry with LD Lines berths at 7am, giving you a full day's driving ahead. Or you can halve that distance by sailing from Portsmouth/Plymouth to Santander/Bilbao with Brittany Ferries, a 24-hour crossing that's pitched as a mini-cruise. Mile for mile it'll cost more, but once in Spain fuel is cheaper, toll roads less frequent and Algeciras is just a 12-hour drive away." LD Lines (ldlines.co.uk) has crossings from Portsmouth to Le Havre from �180 return, including a cabin for two passengers. A return trip from Portsmouth to Santander with Brittanny Ferries (brittannyferries.com) costs from around �565, including cabin. Direct Ferries (directferries.co.uk) has a return from Algeciras to Tangiers Med with Bale�ria from �210.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2011/may/22/luxury-travel-barbados
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