The Smooth Radio DJ found that a flight in an RAF Tornado was simply too much to stomach
There have been several humiliating incidents in my broadcasting career over the years, but there's one that left me more ashamed than the rest. It was 1990 and we were doing a tribute programme for the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Britain for the BBC. My producer, Jonathan Russell, had the great idea that I should fly in a wartime Lancaster bomber, then compare the experience with a modern-day Tornado fighter.
The Lancaster thing went fine, so two weeks later we went up to RAF Coningsby, where somehow Russell had arranged permission for me to sit in a Tornado, piloted by a man called Fred Grundy. I was pretty terrified ? for those who aren't aware, Tornadoes don't do a traditional takeoff, they just go along a bit then straight up in the air. I'd seen this happen before, but had never experienced it first hand.
I had a cup of tea beforehand with some terribly confident and good-looking RAF blokes. One of them offered me a cheese sandwich, saying it might calm my nerves, and I politely accepted, not realising that this was considered very funny.
So I got strapped in and we took off. It seemed like a second before we were up at 35,000ft in the air, at which point I promptly threw up my sandwich over millions of pounds worth of equipment. We flew around for a bit while I tried to get my stomach under control and do some recording. But poor Fred the pilot didn't know I'd thrown up.
Eventually we came down again and I had this awful feeling of getting out of the plane and everyone stepping back, like in a western, as if to say "there goes the man who puked". I hadn't even managed to throw up in my glove, which apparently is what the RAF guys do. I just did it all over the gear.
I now look back with utter humiliation on this moment, the man who couldn't keep a sandwich down in one of our prize jets. While recalling it all, another thing I also realised is that I never apologised to Fred Grundy, which I'd like to rectify here.
On the radio I've never achieved the Nicky Campbell word, or indeed the James Naughtie word. But my attitude to broadcasting mistakes generally is to plough on. I'm a great believer in not apologising till you realise the enormity of what you've done. If you say sorry too soon, it's easy to get it wrong.
Simon Bates presents Smooth Radio's weekday breakfast show from 6-10am.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/jun/18/simon-bates-my-greatest-mistake
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