Saturday, June 18, 2011

Grace Dent's TV OD: The Fairy Jobmother

The Fairy Jobmother's advice to the long-term unemployed winds up some viewers ? but her manner will be familiar to many others

So that big cannabis leaf tattoo on yer neck?" says Hayley Taylor, the Fairy Jobmother, to Thomas, 20, from Birmingham. "What do we think that says to employers?"

"That I'm on drugs," sighs Thomas, who was sleeping rough by 17 and could fit all the positive things he believes about himself on the back of a sim card. Hayley, however, is typically bumptious and indefatigable. "High-necked shirts," she decrees, before coaching him how to walk into a room, make eye contact and say his name without stuttering, becoming breathless or curling slowly into a passive ball.

Hayley does this with a harsh tongue, several bear hugs and tearful faces clamped to her bosom. Critics feast on Hayley's straight-talking manner, her Oasis trouser suits and her neck scarves, like she's some sort of wondrous oddity. However, I look at Hayley and see a thousand northern mams, aunties, sisters, cousins, friends and friends of friends that have crossed my path. Hayley is not unusual. In fact, I would be Hayley, had a troop of philanthropic Guardianistas not adopted me from a Yates's Wine Lodge car park in the late-90s, weaned me on a diet of polenta chips, broad bean-based mezze and exemplary goose eggs, and then imbued me with a love of special "Tandem Riding In Andalucia" travel supplements and freeing Burma or boycotting Burma, or whatever we're doing with Burma this week (I'm never sure). But I am proud of my inner Hayleyness. "You need to wash your hair, love," Hayley says to Sarah, 23, who has had 15 different jobs, eight of which she was fired from, seven of which mysteriously "let her go". Sarah washes her hair, is hugged many times and looks reborn.

Of course, the show makes the process look slick. The reason The Fairy Jobmother (Tue, 9pm, Channel 4) infuriates the public so deeply is that there are no neat solutions to the mindset of long-term unemployment. Chronic negativity, self-doubt, depression, tiredness and lack of basic life experience strangle the members of Hayley's Birmingham Job Club like poison ivy. Oh, and pigheadedness. Or is it praiseworthy stubbornness? That's your call. "I ain't working down McDonald's, I'm worth more than that!" sneers Tammy, 19, regardless of Hayley's growing ire. "Oh, get to work, you scrounging berk!" many viewers will scream. "Well she's got a point," other viewers will nod, "How dare that silly cow with the neck scarf force someone to flip burgers?" And so the argument will roll on about The Fairy Jobmother, with us all accusing each other of being soft-arsed liberals or boggle-eyed neocons, and of "mollycoddling the workshy" or "bullying the working classes" and how the problem lies with the government ? In fact, let's blame Eric Pickles ? I find it easy to do this with most subjects thanks to Eric's "Cenobite from Hellraiser" qualities.

In the meantime, Hayley is helping Bill Rose, 21, a quiet, self-confessed eccentric sort. His family have suggested he becomes "a male escort". This seems very wrong. Call me a boring old class war moo, but I've watched several episodes of Made In Chelsea and at no point has Fenella Flumpinton-Ding-Dong's mother pointed her towards prostitution, whinnying, "Go on darling, get your pants off, help us out." I'm glad that via a series of stern talks and warm cuddles, Hayley makes Bill realise there are better job prospects. Hayley picks up Bill's limp soft-rock locks and lets them fall against his slightly greasy scalp. "But, love, we'll need to do something with yer hair."


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Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/jun/18/grace-dent-tv-od-the-fairy-jobmother

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