Cheryl Cole will reportedly return to the X Factor ? replacing Tulisa on the judging panel. But why mess with a great new lineup?
Remember when Simon Cowell was king of the world? That was a golden age, wasn't it? It was long before his decision-making process went all skew-whiff and he decided that David Hasselhoff would be an acceptable replacement for him on Britain's Got Talent. Before he decided that Red Or Black would ever be anything other than the worst television show of the year. And, most recently, before he decided that The X Factor sorely needed any more Cheryl Cole.
After the epic palaver of her US X Factor adventure, Cowell has reportedly decided that Cheryl Cole deserves a second chance. He apparently wants her back for the live shows. This is because it'd be a ratings winner and it'd shake things up and Cheryl is a national treasure and all sorts of other dimwitted excuses.
Please don't, Simon. You don't need Cheryl Cole. X Factor doesn't need Cheryl Cole. And, unless I'm mistaken, very few viewers actually want Cheryl Cole.
The new judging lineup is doing spectacularly well on its own, especially since Gary Barlow has stopped being such a fun-sapping Eeyore all the time. In fact, it's working so well that even the thought of Simon Cowell returning to the show seems a bit intrusive and weird, let alone a peripheral judge like Cole.
Plus, who would she replace? It's suggested that Cheryl's return will be at the expense of Tulisa, who Cowell has apparently branded 'underwhelming'. That, plainly, is nonsense. Tulisa is everything that Cheryl Cole was and more. She's young, she's pretty, she has a taste for inadvisable tattoos (She has 'The female boss' daubed across her arm) and she wears lots of horrible dresses. But she's also a better judge; she's more incisive and analytical than Cole, and less prone to diva-ish fits of pique.
So Tulisa's out. And the other judges have rendered Cole unnecessary, too. Kelly Rowland is better at crying relentlessly, Louis Walsh is funnier and Gary Barlow wears lower-cut tops. If Cheryl was to return, she'd be completely superfluous.
And this is all before we've mentioned the Cole fatigue that everyone has been suffering from lately. Cheryl's reign as X Factor's golden girl ended a year ago, when she picked Cher Lloyd over Gamu, and she's since been someone to tolerate rather than celebrate. The move to America, the sheepish return from America, the interminable will-she/won't-she of her personal life has just exacerbated this. Cole's already everywhere all the time, does she really have to mess up The X Factor too?
That's not to say that Cheryl Cole didn't have her moments. She was perfectly good at forming relationships with contestants, especially those who either came from the north-east of England or looked a bit like her. She was great for tawdry tabloid-baiting too, with her inter-judge bitchiness and her relationship woes. And her musical performances were easily among the best lip-synced, pre-recorded performances of the entire show.
But her time has now passed. Cheryl blew her chance by banking everything on fame in America. To put it into parlance that Simon Cowell will understand, her mistake was putting it all on red instead of black. She's still got the shampoo adverts. Isn't that enough?
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2011/sep/14/the-x-factor-cheryl-cole
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