vallierojas: Follow the stars to Hollywood

Want to see the actual spot where Josh Hartnett was caught short? The hair salon that created the "Rachel"? All aboard TMZ's new Hollywood bus tour

If the 1930s were Hollywood's golden age, then this is the age of that bendy metal they use to make paperclips. Since 2005, gossip website TMZ.com (the people responsible for breaking news of the death of Heath Ledger, Mel Gibson's antisemitic rant, Tiger Woods' secret life and, most famously, Michael Jackson's death, six minutes before it was actually confirmed by a doctor) has changed the star-studded landscape of Hollywood. And this year, following the success of a move into television, the brand has decided to take on tourism.

There are no seatbelts on the TMZ tour bus, but there are "shotgun" microphones attached to iPhone cameras; if we see a star we're to leap off and shoot them. "It's more than a tour?" they promise. "It's a show on wheels!" This is not a traditional LA bus tour, warns our guide, Keith ? a small failed actor who apologises for his jokes. "We're going to see where celebrities actually go. Where they shop, eat. And most importantly, where they get into trouble."

I arrive in Los Angeles the week after storms. Everywhere, people are marvelling at the weather, gleaming with gladness. To prepare myself for the trash of TMZ, I spend some time investigating the places celebrities used to hide, before the website exploded over America, its cameras worming into every hospital, car park and toilet stall. The hotels, with their Armani-suited security, have traditionally been havens for stars: the week after I arrived at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where Elizabeth Taylor honeymooned and Greta Garbo hid out, Kate and Wills were due to check in. The hotel is set in an island of palm trees, its pink walls reflecting a blush on to guests' jet-lagged cheeks, its Polo Lounge restaurant quietly buzzing with ageing agents sharing salads with tiny blonde clients.

At the elegant Peninsula, near Rodeo Drive, I bumped into Simon Cowell, burning by the pool. A trio of brunettes in a neighbouring cabana discreetly passed him their phone numbers as he left, an unread Jonathan Franzen under his arm. The Roosevelt on Hollywood Boulevard, where ("in ancient times", Keith says later) JFK used to creep in through the kitchen to meet Marilyn Monroe, is today the place where Scarlett Johansson parties and Courtney Love passes out. The night I visited, a premiere over the road at Grauman's Chinese Theatre meant the paps were lurking outside for Jennifer Aniston, but inside, less photographable film stars were rumoured to be dining. Staying at the Mondrian (where Leonardo DiCaprio occasionally holes up) gave me access to the Sky Bar, with its views out over LA and, if you turn back, over its retiring reality stars drinking enthusiastically in bikinis. Mel Gibson was there two weeks earlier, while Boyzone's Ronan Keating swept out on our way in, his wife towering above him.

TMZ stands for "Thirty-Mile Zone', the area of Los Angeles where most film studios used to be based, but the site's orbit is far, far wider. When TMZ broke the news of Michael Jackson's death, the website was cited as a source by news organisations around the world. Not only did the site become famous, but its founder, lawyer Harvey Levin, became a celebrity himself. "Harvey Levin is Oz," said MSNBC's celebrity reporter Courtney Hazlett. "There's something happening behind the curtain there."

The celebrities whose careers have been off-roaded by him, however, are less impressed. Alec Baldwin, whose phone tirade to his daughter was obtained by Levin's tippers, accused his site of "ruining people's lives", while ex-model Janice Dickinson called him "pond scum". Levin introduces the video that plays during our bus tour, and he occasionally comes along ? this is his brainchild, Keith tells the 24 passengers. On the inaugural tour, Levin leapt from the vehicle to shake Diddy's hand ? and the footage was immediately streamed on the website, as are all the celebrities the bus encounters.

TMZ not only follows celebrities, it creates them. American socialite Kim Kardashian was originally spotted by one of their photographers entering a nightclub on the arm of Paris Hilton. One sex tape and many millions of dollars later, she is as ubiquitous here as an exclamation mark. It's the very nightclub where she was spotted that we pass on the tour ? some passengers whoop as we slow down. We see the off licence Halle Berry crashed her car into, and visit the In-n-Out burger joint where Hilton was arrested for a DUI (driving under the influence), soon followed by El Pollo Loco where Brad Pitt once worked in a chicken suit.

We drive through the Grove, where Suri Cruise buys her dolls. When we pass the Chateau Marmont, we hear a 911 call made by Josh Hartnett, in the throes of an attack of diarrhoea. Close by, we drive down the side street where Hugh Grant was arrested with Divine Brown in his car, and then another TMZ landmark ? the Laugh Factory where Seinfeld's Michael Richards destroyed his career with a racist tirade. A tribute to "the power of TMZ!", Keith says, explaining how they obtained the mobile-phone footage of Richards insulting his crowd.

There's the strip club where Courtney Love once worked, and the tanning salon frequented by Britney Spears. There's the store where Winona Ryder shoplifted, the hotels where Hilton filmed her sex tape and where Verne Troyer shot his. Here's the turning where tens of drunk celebrities get caught by speed traps. We slow again outside the hair salon where the "Rachel" was created, and two seats away a family from New Jersey go wild. In the distance we see the Hollywood hills, and Keith explains how the celebrities spread themselves ? in the east hills are the youngsters, "the Robert Pattinson types. In the middle we have the established actors ? think Courtney Cox. And then off to the west there are the old stars and their families," the children soon growing up and doing the loop into Pattinson territory, where the cycle begins again.

Where once tourists visited Los Angeles to see the gilded gates of actors' houses, the signs of wealth and success, now they want to witness where their careers crashed down to earth. The celebrities themselves, as caught by TMZ's cameras, seem to have a complicated relationship with the site ? they hate it, but they need it, like a smear test in winter. Driving through these wide, stained streets, I can't help but feel a bit guilty, staring at the sites that have played parts in career-destroying tabloid reveals. I wonder if TMZ's conscience is clear.

And, as if in response, a nightclub called Hyde Lounge looms up on our right. A couple of years ago this club, Keith explains, was a favourite of Hollywood's flashiest stars (Beyonc�, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan) who would be photographed leaving, occasionally falling painfully off their heels. So, to make them feel more comfortable, Hyde erected a pair of black curtains as walls against the press, a walkway from the club's back door to their waiting cars. It didn't quite work ? the photographers simply stood in the street and papped from there. TMZ and its competitors would regularly feature shots of these glamorous drunks, stumbling against Hyde's black sheets. So the club tried to go one better, hiring bouncers to form a tunnel for A-listers to exit through, this time with a roof, and extended right up to the car door. There are a few photos around which allege to be celebrities leaving the club, but the stars are unidentifiable, shielded by sheets. And so, TMZ's photographers gradually stopped coming. Then, so did the celebrities. Now, says Keith, Hyde, once the busiest, starriest club in Hollywood is half-empty. TMZ and celebrities feed each other, and they feed off each other. Keith drags his gaze away from the LA skyline and looks me in the eye. And then he shrugs.

Essentials

Beverly Hills Hotel, 9641 Sunset Blvd (beverlyhillshotel.com). Rooms from $445; spa package from $1,075

Mondrian Los Angeles, 8440 Sunset Blvd (mondrianhotel.com). Be Social room package (with priority access to SkyBar and Asia de Cuba restaurant) from $295

Peninsula Hotel, 9882 South Santa Monica Blvd (peninsula.com). Weekend Escape package (with breakfast and spa credit) from $495

The Roosevelt, 7000 Hollywood Blvd (thompsonhotels.com). Double room from $275

TMZ Hollywood tour: $69 for adults, $59 for children (tmz.com/tour)

Eva Wiseman