The prince of pop is topping the calendar charts ? his secret may be that as the rest of the world changes, he never does
It may still be a month until even the most enthusiastic supermarket would dare to string out its Christmas bunting, but there's no such shyness among calendar manufacturers. Editions for 2012 are already on sale, and dominating the celebrity market are Danilo, stationery specialists and winner of two prizes at this year's National Calendar awards. Their current catalogue includes Lady Gaga, JLS and Hollyoaks (both "hunk" and "babe" editions), but the biggest horse in Danilo's stable might come as a surprise: it's Cliff Richard.
Last year, according to Amazon, Cliff sold more calendars than any other male celebrity. The terminally naff septuagenarian also went home with the coveted "best retail calendar ? celebrities" at this year's NCAs. I've had a quick glance at Cliff's 2012 collection and, without wishing to tempt fate, I'd suggest he has every intention of keeping the trophy on his mantelpiece for another year.
In terms of what you'd hope for from a Cliff calendar, Cliff 2012 has it all. In January, Cliff hugs a dolphin. In April he's caressing a horse while wearing leather chaps. In July he's hunkered over, playing with a basketball. In August he's astride a motorcycle. Keen students of Cliff's physique will be anxious to turn straight to September, when Cliff enjoys a top-off massage from a woman with scarlet fingernails.
Cliff 2012 is a meticulously produced collection that, on the one hand could have been shot in half a day round the back of Cliff's Portuguese villa, and on the other says everything about his enduring popularity. The first thing you notice is the Peter Pan of Pop's enduring Peter Pan of Popness. He may be 71 in October, but Cliff looks like a man in his mid-50s, toned, muscular and in possession of a full head of hair. The second thing you notice is that, despite the physically active and (in the case of February's Top Gun pose) dangerous backdrops, Cliff's abiding look is one of happiness. A smile is rarely far from his lips, and his gaze is consistently wide-eyed, a look from which I infer enduring wonderment at the manifold pleasures of God-given life.
In normal circumstances I'm sure my response to Cliff's calendar would be one of scorn, laughing at an old man acting all young and scoffing cynically at his gleaming eyeballs (yeah, I get it, Jesus wants you for a sunbeam). But today, on looking at the pictures ? written up breathlessly in this morning's Daily Mail ? I didn't feel that at all.
When I saw those pictures of Cliff, my first thought was I hope I'm that alive when I'm 70 (note for the reaper: I'd settle for any alive). My other thought was that in his uncomplicated gaiety and largely simple pleasures, Cliff ? or these 12 images of Cliff ? seem to be flogging something in quite short supply right now: an idea of the good life.
These things might also be relevant when considering Cliff's enduring popularity. He may be uncool, but he's also unchanging and uncomplicated. Cliff 2012 may be relatively glamorous ? not everyone is so fortunate as to be able to freely consort with dolphins ? but it's a world away from the customary bling and shagging. Say what you like, but he's not peddling a millionaire's lifestyle nor looking moodily into the camera while wearing Y-fronts the price of a nurse's monthly wage.
There's also the fact that Cliff's fanbase ? ie the older demographic ? are probably the only people who still buy calendars in any number. But let's not allow that discomfiting detail to distract from the more transcendent truth: Cliff Richard is still going and he is the same Cliff as he ever was. As the very foundations of western society seem to quiver on the point of collapse, it's consoling to keep that thought in mind.
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