With its frank and graphic lessons, The Joy Of Teen Sex isn't as enjoyable a watch as it sounds ? but could it help to lower the nation's STI rates?
I'm here to learn about having sex with girls," announces the cute, saucer-eyed, 17-year-old lesbian on The Joy Of Teen Sex (10pm, Wed, C4), an educational show for teens aiming to build their sexual skill roster. Well, that's the target demographic anyway. Now on episode three, TJOTS's "audience reach" actually seems to be belt-loosening adults hoping, in vain, for something to send them off to bed with funny tummy feelings. Instead, they are bombarded with grisly footage of genital lesions, funny fannies and a boy with a scrotum that feels like a bag of worms. Let's be frank, there isn't a massive amount of joy involved with any of the sex we're seeing here. You'd certainly have much more fun learning the fundamentals of intercourse in a bush after a litre of Merrydown while your mother believed you were at the cinema, but this is just the sort of wanton, unplanned excitement the show discourages. "Why don't you like my vagina?!" 18-year-old Michaela is screaming at her boyfriend Luke in couples therapy. I'm not a sexpert like Ruth, Joanna or Rachael but I'd hazard a guess it's because Michaela's the sort of demented individual who believes in solving inter-couple labia disputes by shouting about them on C4.
In a previous show, Calvin, a young gay man, explained earnestly that he was terrified of shoving anything up his bum. It was, we were told by the stern voiceover, "a debilitating fear" and we were then treated to a long eye-watering lesson in lube and bum muscles. My sage advice to this dilemma would have been, "Calvin, have you considered the possibility of simply, for an indefinite period, just not shoving anything up your bum?". Elsewhere, Holly ? 20 ? told Dr Rachael that now she was on the pill she wasn't bothering with condoms as she knew she could tell people with STIs as they looked "a bit skanky". But you could get chlamydia and herpes ... "I don't really think that will happen to me!" says Holly defiantly. Now Dr Rachael is forced to pull out "the big guns". Enormous A2 size photos of a vagina with sores are wafted in front of Holly's eyes. "What do you think of these?" torments Dr Ruth. "Oh my god! I had no idea!" Holly sobs, "I'm going to use condoms now forever!" Dr Rachael has definitely got something here. If we're going to quash soaring rates of teen chlamydia, we need these doomed vagina pictures printed immediately on the walls of nightclubs, the side of pint glasses and the back of V Festival tickets. I shall be calling Dave and George at Number 10 to demand a think-tank on my stunning initiative.
However, my favourite Joy Of Teen Sex patients so far have been mother Michelle and 17-year-old daughter Rachel and their endless bitter disputes about Rachel's slap-dash approach to contraception (ie: not using any, going out raving every weekend, sleeping with a plethora of different boys). Rachel and Michelle's arguments were stupendous, street-shaking affairs. Fast-forward one session at the C4 sex clinic, and Rachel is brimming with injectable contraceptive and the pair are chums again. "From now on I want you to have this notebook to write down your feelings towards each other!" smiles their therapist. "We will!" the pair sob. I wish I could see that notebook now. I'm almost sure it will still say things like "STOP ACTING LIKE A TART AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM" and "STOP OBSESSING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE YOU OLD TROUT" but at least the vitriol will be in a pretty Paperchase jotter, highlighted with neon marker pens, so in a funny way that's progress.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/jan/29/grace-dent-joy-of-teen-sex
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