The tribal factions of the General Synod aren't hard to spot ? but they're supposed to work out God's agenda, not their own
My 19-year-old son works in the pharmacy in Boots. The best fun to be had there is working out what a customer is going to ask for as they approach the counter. A spotty youth who is bright red is easiest, though there must be less embarrassing ways of procuring condoms these days. But I was amazed to learn that his strike rate for all customers is over 80%! We give away so much before we open our mouths. This is as true in the General Synod as at the counter at Boots
If you're a woman with a dog collar on, walking into Church House while synod is sitting still requires a deep breath. You know you will encounter several people who have pretty much made it their life's work to deny your existence. They are not hard to spot. Lack of eye contact is a give away, as is a determination not to sit next to you in the coffee bar even though the seat by your side is the only one free in the room.
Then there are the terribly important people. For them the process is clearly much more exciting than either the issues or the relationships. They are not dilettantes like the rest of us. Grey is their colour. A wan, unrecognising half smile if you get stuck with one in the lift. The papers, and there are a cruel amount of papers, are what life is all about.
The coffee bar yielded more. A table of very smooth, middle-aged vicars so clerically attired that you'd swear they were in fancy dress. How these Catholics love the dressing up box!
I'm not surprised to find we are tribal. It must be like that in all political circles, but this is a group of Christians whose alleged agenda is to work out God's preferred option, not their own. Is the only difference a slightly more ready smile ? just to show how kind and holy you are?
As we sat down for the first debates of this session I did my own tribal thing. I wanted to sit next to someone who looked more modern than ancient. Someone with a bit of a twist. Someone I could share knowing looks with. So I marched in with my above-the-knee skirt and my ironic and obviously not episcopal purple tights and found two of the best people there ? my archdeacon Karen and Christina Rees. We are all playing that game.
Because of this tendency to act in groups ? and of course for sheer convenience ? there is a new state-of-the-art electronic voting system. You can't see at the time how your pals are voting and be influenced by them, but how you vote can be recorded and published. That's a good principle for those of us who are elected. It means you have to account for your decisions.
The first vote was quite highly charged. A strong theme of loyalty to the archbishops and counter theme of resistance to a new proposal that is meant to be inclusive but might turn out to exclude and divide.
We all got out our lightsabers and pressed the appropriate button ? and the whole system went down. Back to the parliamentary way: we piled through the various doors to vote and on the other side discovered a party going on. God seemed to have given the same message to all your friends.
The clergy were split about half and half, the laity less evenly and, as my friend Justin could have told me, the bishops (with three notable exceptions) voted en bloc. But then they have put a lot of effort into male bonding and it clearly pays off.
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