Today's yada-yada has seen it all before ...
Even as the Mill types this morning, football managers up and down the land are hot-stepping down to their local newsagent for a lottery ticket. Today's EuroMillions jackpot, after all, is an estimated �90m. With tickets going for just �2 and odds of claiming the top prize standing at just 76,275,360-1 that, erm, still doesn't represent a very wise investment. But let's not focus on that ? this is life-changing money: enough to buy two and a bit Andy Carrolls, 1,384.6 see-through gowns worn by Kate Middleton, or 4.5b used-to-be-a-penny sweets.
More to the point, you could also have yourself an infinite number of Michael Owens, since the much-loved former football player will be out of contract at Manchester United in the summer, and hence available for a big fat nothing. The Aston Villa manager, G�rard Houllier, has been having grand visions of reconstructing Liverpool's attack circa 2003 and will be waiting with open arms the moment he becomes available.
Over at Stamford Bridge Chelsea's extensive scouting network have been scouring literally minutes of football from all over the Champions League as they seek to meet Roman Abramovich's demands for a new defender, and have now discovered a little known Spanish defender named Sergio Ramos ? available for a piffling ?35m from Real Madrid. This despite the fact he was seen making occasional tackles and generally filling that area of the pitch defenders are supposed to fill against Lyon on Wednesday. Result!
Just down the Kings Road, the Fulham manager Mark Hughes has decided that he just can't be hacked to sell his new house and up sticks for Munich, where Bayern had been reported to be interested. Instead he will stay put and expect a big new contract for doing so. If Zoltan Gera has to be sold to Newcastle in order to raise the necessary funds, then so be it.
Still in London, Arsenal are planning a raucous end-of-season party in which they will celebrate their triumphant top four finish by having the Schalke striker Mario Gavranovic burst out of an enormous cake wearing nothing but an invoice for �7m. The club are also interested in acquiring the Charlton full-back Carl Jenkinson.
Meanwhile, the Daily Mirror casts Birmingham's Sebastian Larsson as the pretty young victim in a footballing horror film, reporting that: "Larsson could be off to La Liga, with two Spanish clubs chasing him." Gah, don't run that way Seb ? that's exactly where they want you to go!
Elsewhere, Liverpool are eying up the Osasuna full-back Ignacio 'Nacho' Monreal. In hot loan news Swansea want Tottenham's Danny Rose, while Portsmouth are dreaming of landing Aston Villa's Chris Herd till the end of the season.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/mar/18/football-transfer-rumours-sergio-ramos-chelsea
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